Anastasia K.   view profile 

I grew up without a father. My mother brought me up, if you can call it upbringing. Most of all she was concerned with her own life. Men came to our house very often, then went, often mother did not come home until the next day.

She paid much less attention to me then she did to her men. I was often present in the room when they had sex, and I did not like it. All those sounds, puffing and fuss in the dark, or in the dim light of a night lamp... They behaved as if I did not exist there at all.
When I grew up it became worse. She treated me as a kind of a friend. She expected understanding on my behalf! When she needed to bring another man in, she would ask me to stay overnight at my friends' or elsewhere. She would give me a wink and say: 'well, you understand, don't you!' I did not want to understand, I felt embarrassed to ask my friends to let me stay overnight at their places. I had to explain something, lie, invent excuses (so that their parents understood correctly). That was all very depressing.
Once, I arranged to stay the night at a friend's place, but when I got there, there was nobody home. I decided to wait and set on the windowsill at the landing between floors in her apartment building. Time passed by, it was already dark, but they were not back yet. People passed by, looked at me, it was pretty embarrassing. But it was too late to change plans anyway, so I decided to wait as long as I had to (or spend the night there on the windowsill in the worst case).
A man with a dog passed by me, going downstairs, looked at me in surprise. When he returned he asked me what I was doing there at night. I told him I was waiting for Natashka. Then he said he saw her family earlier that day, they were leaving for dacha, so there was no point in waiting.
He suggested I went to his place with him, but I refused. He shrugged his shoulders and went with his dog. About 40 minutes passed. It was getting pretty cold and I became sorry I decided to stay overnight there. And here the door on the top floor opened again and the man got out. Again he asked me to come in and have some tea at least. I was cold, so I decided to come in.

He was alone in a flat with a dog. He led me to the kitchen, gave me something to eat and poured me a cup of tea. We started to talk, and it turned out I felt at ease with him, I did not feel I was talking to somebody who was much older. Tea drunk, I did not feel like leaving. I was waiting for him to ask me to stay, and was not mistaken. And I agreed to stay for the night at his place.
To be honest, I understood what staying overnight with a man might come. But after spending half a night on the windowsill, I felt really pissed off at the whole world and especially at my mother. I felt like doing something terrible in revenge. So that I could tell everybody: 'You did it to me? Now see what happened to me!' I realized that my virginity was at risk, but that did not scare me. And I made up my mind that if he began to make passes on me, I would not resist! Let happen what should!
But he behaved pretty normal. He let me into one of the room, and went himself to the other one. But men are always men! When I was almost asleep, I heard the door opening and he come in. My sleepiness disappeared in a jiffy, heart started beating fast.
He set on the edge of the bed and did not do anything for sometime. Then very slowly he stroked me with his hand from my breasts to toes over the blanket. I was lying with my eyes closed without a slightest movement. Then he repeated his caress and went on stroking me. Then his hand got under the blanket. When he continued caressing my naked body I felt an unusual acute feeling that frightened me. I quickly turned over to my belly, but did not say a word.

The man began stroking my back and below, then began sort of massaging me. His hands were warm and strong, he did not do anything bad, so my fear was gone. His touch was tender and felt good. I had not experienced much caress in my life, so I relaxed and made no resistance. I still felt dull pain in the lower belly left over from my fright, but it was rather pleasant pain.
He stroked me for long time, I grew soft and even did not noticed when he undid my bra. Then his fingers found their way lower, under my panties, began stroking my buttocks, then slipped further... I was lying like a rug doll, absolutely relaxed.
I did not feel like resisting at all and decided for myself: let him do whatever he wanted (besides it was becoming more and more pleasant)... I allowed him to take off my panties completely and did not struggle when he spread my legs slightly. He began caressing me with his finger slowly... The sweet pain became stronger and stronger, to the degree when I felt like suppressing it with another kind of pain.
I was aware of what was about to follow, and was waiting impatiently for it to happen. At last my man let go of me for a minute and I heard the rustle of the clothes being taken off. He settled down by my side, stroked me for a while again and then lay on top of me and spread my legs with his.

He was holding my breasts with on of his hands, firmly, but gently. I could not see what he was doing, but felt something hard and hot pressing from beneath, seeking its way inside me. In a second there was a short flash of pain that surprisingly pleasantly merged with that exhaustingly sweet pain I had been feeling in my lower belly.
I felt something entering me, expanding and filling me from inside... Then he started moving carefully inside me back and forth, his movements becoming faster and faster. Because he had massaged me before, I accepted what was happening to me as a continuation of massage. That massage was soothing the pain inside me in some magical way and replacing it with another sweet sensation, no less captivating...
The man turned me over to my side, caressed my breasts with one hand, my belly and down there with another, intensifying his rhythmical movements... That lasted long. I was melting... But suddenly he became breathing heavily, all of a sudden stopped and withdrew. For several seconds he pressed his body to mine in convulsions, then grew weak and let go of me...
We lay still for a while... Then he put the night light on. When he saw stains on the bed sheet, his reaction was not quite adequate at first. 'Why did not you tell me you had your periods?' - he asked. But then having looked at my face, he understood... But did not look happy. He was mostly preoccupied with the thought how to get rid of the blood stains not only from the bed sheet but from the mattress as well. Eventually the two of us coped with them. The night passed. We manage to sleep no more than two hours.

I came home a different person next morning. Probably he had not just made me a woman, he woke a woman in me as well. Honestly - I liked it. I even seek to meet him again, stopped by Natashka's house pretty often, even saw him, but he pretended he did not recognize me. I can understand why - as I found out from Natashka later, he had a wife and two children. They must have been at the dacha at that time too...
Then I began trying it with other guys... It turned out to be not so great as it was my first time. Usually it was just 'stick it in' quickly... But that took care of my need-a-place-to-stay-overnight problem))). It has never been a problem since. After 2 year of my nomadic life I came to study to a technical school in St. Petersburg (although I was doing very good at the high school) - just to get a place in a hostel and not to depend on my mother at all.
Why am I telling all this? Probably because it feels good to remind myself of my first experience...))) I think it had a strong and positive effect on my life. Now at least I know for sure what a real man should be like in bed, and I know I will find exactly what I am looking for sooner of later.

Julia M.   view profile 

I have a very powerful and strong-willed mother. I was brought up to obey her since childhood. She made decisions for me. We lived without a father. So, there has not been much alternative in my life. I kind of got used to it, because all her decisions turned out to be correct ones eventually.

So, she started planning a career for me. I have an excellent body, but have never been a good student really, so it was decided that the best option for me was to become a model. Before I went to the agency, we had a serious talk with my mother.
She explained to me that a career of a model in itself did not guarantee success on the long run. A few years of making good money and that would be it. Most important thing was to find a husband in those several years. Somebody who could provide me for life. It was all for real; all it took was to act single-mindedly and with precision. There were suitable candidates handing around model business, main thing was to act timely and not miss the chance.

And one could not be a virgin to achieve the goals. More over, one had to be so skillful in the art of sex that a man wanted to be with no one else but you. It was a totally frank conversation. Mother said she did not want to force me into anything, I had to make my own decision, but my only alternative would be miserable existence. I did not hesitate for long. I liked the prospects she drew up for me.
Then the issue of my 'education' came to the agenda. But mother had even thought about that too. One of her ex-lovers had to become my 'deflorator'. They had parted long time ago, but were good friends. Mother felt sorry about it at times; because she said he was an ideal man in bed. They parted because of her temper. So, everything arranged, we went...

He turned out to be a pleasant man, I liked him, although was embarrassed at first. We had a dinner for about two hours, for me to get used to him. Then mother left us alone... What can I say... Yes, he turned out to be experienced indeed. The foreplay alone lasted for about four hours.
During that time he was able to put me at ease completely. Skillfully, with words and caresses he brought me to a condition close to orgasm. And entered me only when I wanted it myself. First time he simply entered me. I was euphoric with his caress and wine; I did not feel almost no pain. But he did not move (not to hurt me), just stayed inside me. And started caressing my clit at the same time. That was an incredible sensation! The feel of man's essence inside plus that caress...

Nobody would believe, but I started moving myself on top of him, like an experienced woman (although I had no experience whatsoever) - I wanted it! And very soon I got my first orgasm. Nobody of my friends had anything close to it at their first time, I have not even read in books about it. Just imagine the fact - to get a virgin to experience orgasm!
I could not fully appreciate it then. But such first experience caused nothing but insatiable desire to continue 'learning'. And he taught me everything... Three months with him - I will never forget! I almost fell in love with the man for real. But then again my mother interfered... But that is a different story...

Marina D.   view profile 

I lost my virginity at 18, it happened spontaneously, unexpectedly for me. I had been seeing that guy for probably 3 months. Our relationships were more of a friendship type. I do not think I loved him, just wanted to have somebody I could call 'my man'.

Obviously thoughts about sex came to my mind, but I never felt like doing it with him for the first time. Although we dated, kissed, hugged, walked 'hand in hand' - all of that was in place. Naturally quite often in conversation he would start suggesting it was time 'we'd do it'. I always talked my way out by saying something like: 'Yes, sure, but not right now, I am not really ready'. To tell the truth, he was ok, but his personality did not bring up any sensations in me compared in their intensiveness to the erotic fantasies I had.
But once he invited me (it was not the first time) to his dacha. A girlfriend of mine (not the closest one) thrust herself upon us - it was boring in St. Petersburg in summer, so the three of us went. Somebody of the neighbors there had a birthday, and everybody got pretty drunk, especially my girlfriend. Late at night we came back to the dacha and started settling down for the night. My boyfriend, being a gentleman, left us girls together in the only room there was, and went to the adjacent kitchen himself, to sleep on the floor.

And that was when my girlfriend grew weak and limp from the alcohol and lost control. She did not feel like sleeping, started stretching herself, moaning and mewing something like; 'What a wonderful day it was, I feel so good, just one thing is missing to complete the happiness - a good fuck!'
'How I wish I had a man now!' - she would keep repeating persistently, definitely hoping that Serezhka would hear this. I tried to reason her, but she was too drunk and refused to understand anything. Then she got up, and naked except for her tiny panties as she was, went to the kitchen - 'felt thirsty'. She was not even wearing a bra, and the situation began to worry me.
My boyfriend was not a virgin and he had been 'on starvation rations' with me for three month (at least that was what he was telling me). About my girlfriend I new that she had sex easily and unconstrainedly. So I could easily 'oversleep' my boyfriend!

That was why I got up and went straight to the kitchen. Serezhka lost his wits because of such an inrush of visitors, but first thing I chucked Julia out, and lay by him to be on the safe side. I did feel some tenderness towards him and started stroking his body and felt his hard-on, very big and hot. I demanded he explained if it was Julia who gave him such a hard-on. He swore, that it was me, of course...
Word after word, hands stroking the bodies, lips whispering tender words, floor boards began squeaking... And I became a woman - in a summer kitchen, in the presence of a girlfriend eavesdropping behind the door...

Daria S.   view profile 

I did not loose my virginity with somebody I love, it was all somehow spontaneous. Most likely it was a result of my lively nature and excessive interest in men. It all happened at a party at a friend's place after we graduated.

I was the only girl in the company of five guys, all 3-4 year my senior. I was not afraid of being with them, because I knew them all, they were not at all aggressive. Besides, they all treated me well. Despite being young, I was a sort of a leader among them and always made others 'do things', not very nice ones at times.
At that time it was me who talked them into spending an hour in line to buy some cheap Arabian balm that all of a sudden became for sale in the neighboring store. So that balm was what we had to drink then. In two hours we all were pretty drunk including me. The conversation got impudent, and I was the one who talked most on every subject including sexual.

One of the guys said he would rather had 'an ugly chick, but with big boobs and crooked legs, so that she can wrap them around him better' I popped up immediately saying that I could wrap him up much better with my straight legs. He was struck dumb for a moment, but then figuring out, I was drunk enough, started pushing the subject further.
He started provoking me, making fun of me, saying that talking was all I was good at... Called me a chicken. I just had to say B after saying A. That is my nature - I just have to prove my point. And that Arabian balm on top of it... So, to the utmost surprise of everybody gathered, after 20 minutes of squabbling, we stood up and went to the adjacent room.
I have to do him justice - in the darkness of the room he tried talking me out of it, even apologized. Surprisingly, that was what really got me going (blame it on the balm). I was touched by such generosity almost to the point of tears, hugged him, started kissing him, and told him he was the best. I really meant it then.

He melted at my pressure and our kisses were followed by undressing each other, and mutual caresses. Alcohol must have put me on an 'autopilot' of a kind; I acted as if I were an experienced woman indeed. I still have no idea where it all came from - must be some kind of genetic memory. I did wrap my legs around him and even honestly tried to thrust back.
I did not feel any pain, thanks to balm 'anesthetics'. I even liked all that, but felt no trepidation or comprehended the significance of doing it for the first time. As I said, alcohol woke some deeply rooted reflexes in my subconsciousness, as if I had done it many times before. He even did not understand that he took my virginity.

He never knew about it. Probably found some blood on the bed later (there were some), must have attributed it to something - I do not know. Next morning, when I woke up I remembered everything very well. I did not feel no shame or remorse. It has just happened. And happened the way it happened.
The only thing I did not want was him to think he had some rights over me (did not really like him that much). I let him know that next time I saw him. And three or four days later I all of a sudden realized the beauty of my new state. Now I could take my relationships with men to any degree of intimacy I wanted. The psychological barrier in the form of virginity was gone.

Alla Kh.   view profile 

First sexual experience was with my girlfriend. That was probably the age when everybody dreams of love and sex. We both wanted sex very much, but were afraid of going too far with the boys - it seemed too early. Although dates, seeing-offs, even kisses in the porch - we already had had all that. But there was a barrier that would not let me go further when boys suggested that.

What was I afraid of? Hard to say... was afraid of pain, afraid of consequences... But most likely there was not that special person around, somebody I would do anything for, regardless. We talked about it a lot with Kat'ka, and thought the same. We felt good together and pour our unspent on boys feelings on each other - all of a sudden we would start hugging and kissing overwhelmed with emotions... At that time it seemed there was no person closer than my best friend.

Once in summer, we got soaking wet under the rain and ran into Kat'ka's place. Her parents were at dacha. We threw all our clothes around and rushed into the shower to warm up. That was the first time we happened to be naked together. I watched her and so nothing that subconsciously scared me in guys. Standing under the shower we laughed remembering rain, thunder and our fear.
And doing so we hugged each other, overwhelmed with emotions. The touch of the wet naked bodies was so sensuous, that I just froze. She must be feeling the same, because was not in a hurry to let go of me either.

We stood like that for quite a while, then, got out of the shower, dried ourselves, and ran into her room. There, without exchanging a word we dived into the bed - to warm up. And embraced each other again and started kissing in a gust off passion... Lying on my side I felt her knee separating my legs. Then I threw my leg over her thigh myself. Melting in each other, kissing, we held each other tight, rolling over the bed, trying to spread each others legs to press a knee against each other's intimate places.

Our clothes took time to dry, that was why we spent some more time in bed together - not toughing each other afterwards, just reading magazines and watching TV. We both understood, that something had happened between us that day. It was sex, maybe not real, but sex, that we both wanted.
We did not talk about what had happened, but the way we felt towards each other made it clear that we both liked it. Our eyes were filled with tender care towards each other, hands were touching each other all the time... It was clear to me that we would go further (even if not that day).

The next day we both felt a kind of awkward. We did not attempt to approach each other, on the contrary, we were a little too cold. But on the third day, the dam between us burst open. A warm word from the one of us, another reacted immediately and there were hugs and kisses again - so hot ones that time... One of us felt hot, then another... Heat was just an excuse to get rid of the unnecessary clothes. This time things developed headlong. Both of us were in a hurry to overcome that barrier of uncertainty in our relationships - so that nothing was left unspoken, so that both of us could be sure: yes, we did it!

Hands were roaming over bodies bolder and bolder, the touch becoming open caress... I was the first one to unhook my bra, Kat'ka's immediately followed mine to the floor. Then we simultaneously put our hands on each other thighs - and our panties began sliding down... My knowledge and skills were exhausted at that point, honestly speaking, I would not know what to do next other than continue hugging each other.
But Kat'ka turned out to be more experienced than me. I felt her hand persistently seeking its way down, finders tickling the spot where the lower apex of the triangle becomes divided into two parts. Impatiently, she pressed her knee forward, pushing my closed legs apart and her fingers got inside me.

As soon as she started caressing me down there I fell into a state of sweet stupor - and that was delightful! For a few minutes I just stood relaxed absorbing the new acute sensations, then I felt like returning the caress to thank her. My hand slid down her belly, the smoothness of the skin was replaced with soft silky hears. Kat'ka's legs parted readily and my fingers entered the realm of hot, resilent and wet flesh. I began imitating the movements of Kat'ka's fingers and my sensations became twice stronger when I saw her reaction - her frozen stare right into my eyes, half open mouth, deep sighs coming from her chest...

She had more experience in the matter, she told me later that she was familiar with masturbation since childhood. But for her too my caress became a revelation - it turned out to feel much nicer when somebody else touches you. So that was how, frozen tight upright against each other, looking each other into the eyes, working our fingers in frenzy, we had our first sexual experiment that would open the way to the world of rapture for us.

A lot of things happened later, including orgasm that came to me first and then to Kat'ka. What would I call first time cheating? Maybe it was when I met a guy, who I wanted to try sex with, and did it? I was kind of cheating on Kt'ka then. But after that guy, there have been many others, and now there is a young man in my life, who I want not just to have sex with, but to be together forever. So I cheated on my first man, right? Is that important? I do not think so. What is important is that now I am with somebody I want to be with.

Svetlana Kh.   view profile 

Loosing virginity and first time cheating... Thinking of answers to these questions makes me smile... : )
It happened in my first year at the University, after the first term. Everybody left hostel for vacation, I had to stay to re-take an exam. The hostel was empty, just a few people left in.

We were getting ready for an exam with two guys from the parallel class - they had a similar problem. We had been studying already for a week together, spent a lot of the time together and became good friends - we even used to go to the canteen together. And when we finally passed the exam - decided to have a party to celebrate the event, just the three of us...
There was a lot of vodka, my Martini finished way too soon, and I had to switch over to the stronger stuff... To cut the long story short, the conversation slid towards sexual topics, the guys started boasting who had experienced what in his life... I laughed at them, said it was all child's stuff and bullshit, while I had done such things...
And started telling them about my summer vacations. They shut up and were all ears with their eyes wide open, looking at each other from time to time. I saw my stories were really turning them on and was deliberately trying to add new details to get at them even better. Then they started asking questions themselves, inquiring for details... Word after word...

All three of us were awfully aroused, but nobody was brave enough to speak up what everybody was thinking of... Then one of them sad he felt sorry that there had been nothing like that in his childhood. He would not mind playing those games at all. Then the other one suggested: 'Well, should we try now?'
It was said as a kind of a joke, not seriously, but at the same time the massage to me was clear - they meant, talk was cheap, but could I really do that I was telling them about? I, in my turn, kept inciting them saying that I was not sure if they were not weak creatures themselves: 'Sure you won't go back on your words if I did do something?'
So, with those mutual instigation and after a next shot of vodka I started undressing to the music... Then I took one of them by the hand, lead him to the middle of the room and started dancing with him, taking off his sweater, shirt, unzipping his pants... Left him to take off what remained of his clothes while I dragged out his friend... Soon the three of us were dancing a slow dance - naked... I was caught between them, and they took turns trading places, so I felt each of them in front of me first, then behind me...
.

I was overwhelmed with such languor and bliss that could not hold back any longer. I did not want it to stay just a sexual game, I made up my mind to became a woman that day! While dancing I touched and caressed each one a bit, and chose the one whose penis looked prettier and felt better. I started pushing him towards the bed and even pushed too hard one time, so that he fell. I climbed on top of him and started caressing his penis. I behaved like a boss with them that day and they just obeyed without demur!
The other one understood it was not his day, so he set back at the table and proceeded with vodka, looking at us. My first one was lying on his back with his hands behind the back of his head, and I, having caressed myself with his cock a little, grabbed it firmly and inserted inside me. Deflowered myself!
I did not feel no pain - must be a result of the alcohol drunk and the general intoxicating state of that night. The sensation itself was quite pleasant, although most of all I was enjoying the feeling of my complete power over those guy - I was doing what I wanted to them! When my first came, I got off him and saw blood. I did not want to confess that I had been a virgin after all the stories I told, so I apologized and explained that probably my periods have started unexpectedly.

I did not think that the other one would feel like continuing, but he came up to me from behind, took my breasts in both hands and pressed his cock against my back tightly. I felt his desire and did not mind. I raised myself to tiptoes with my butt rubbing upwards against his cock - he just turned into a beast. He bent me forward so hard, I even hit my face against the table and entered me from behind. Thus, I became unfaithful to my first man already in 5 minutes after his penis left my vagina! : - )))
The sensation was different with him. The sex was so rough, it even scared me - I did not expect it at all. When he was through with me, the first one got up again, but after seeing that my bleeding became stronger, he decided not to. I had already have enough. The next morning, with a terrible hangover, I felt really embarrassed. But the guys came to see me as if nothing had happened and brought me some beer. We have never talked about having another threesome after that, but we remained really good friends and still are.

Masha V.   view profile 

I definitely lingered with loosing my virginity. A few of my friends even got married already, but I did not have a boyfriend yet. I was always friendly with men (I am a sociable girl), but my relations with them continued as friendship for some reason, did not go further. I blamed it on my virginity. I thought guys did not want to go further because they thought relations with a virgin had no future. And I thought I was morally ready to kiss goodbye to my virginity.

My attitude changed: before when guys had suggested intimacy, I felt an inner desire to protect myself, but now there were no resistance on my behalf. The question was who would be the first to sense it and take advantage of it.
Unfortunately for me, the first one was Uzbek. I remember his name, but do not want to mention it - I am still disgusted at him, even now. The guy was 24 years old, he came to St. Petersburg to sign some kind of a contract, and while his issue was being decided he loafed about our institution, took a seat near us, secretaries and tried to talk somebody into spending time together.
He was telling basically same thing to everybody - promised to show the miracles of 'oriental sex'. He said he knew such niceties and sacraments of the Orient, that no European knew, and a night with him would become an unforgettable fairy tale for any woman, and offered anyone to satisfy oneself on that.
More experienced girls laughed at him. But I was too stupid to believe. Of course I wanted my first time to be remembered not because of pain and blood, but because of heavenly rapture. So, one night we went to cafe at first, then to a flat he rented.
Uzbek was very mush excited about the date, and got excited even more after I told him I was a virgin. He said I was incredibly lucky - a date with him - the best thing that could happen to a virgin. Then he got down to business.
The beginning was not really bad. I liked it when he caressed my breasts - it was for the first time in my life. But it did not continued for long, he was impatient and in about 5 minutes I was already lying under him naked. Having clambered up on top of me, his took his time busying himself below, setting his tool to the right position. Having made sure I was all correct, he threw a glance at my face as if wanting to say: 'Let's go!' - and pressed.
From that moment on my torture began. Pain flashed in my brain. But that was not it, there was more to follow. I was not at all ready, I was 'dry' - that was why he was forcing his way inside me with abrupt pushes, and each of them was a result of overcoming my resisting flesh. When he started his frictions I began to moan, but not with pleasure. I was sore inside and it hurt and I was afraid his huge tool would pierce me through.
But I clenched my teeth courageously and decided to endure. Because 'oriental delight' was supposed to start soon. That was the reason I agreed to that. Uzbek was indefatigable as a mule. Although, as I understand it now, changing positions was all his knowledge was about. With few minutes' intervals he would turn me over, made me assume most intricate positions, asking me from time to time if that felt good.
I did not say anything definite, (still waiting for the miracle to come), but at the end of the first hour I felt it was time we had stopped. I was all burning sore inside as if sprinkled with pepper. Uzbek by that time had come three times (not inside me, but on the bed, like a gentleman), but, have to give him credit, his hard-on did not become any softer.
When I tried to suggest humbly, that maybe it was time we'd stopped, he asked me to keep my patience, promising that this was about to happen (he just had to show me a few more of his special ways). So I spent another half hour, tied up in unthinkable positions, suffering like hell from the soreness in my pussy.
At last I just begged him to let me go, almost crying. Uzbek was perplexed, indignant and even angry at me. His gallantry vanished without a trace. He explained to me what a fool I was. Any woman would dream of such a lover like him - somebody who could have her tirelessly for half an hour and was ready to go on longer. An experienced woman would have come all over by now, and any virgin would be at least pleased and grateful.
He kept asking me to continue, because it just could not happen that his skills remained not appreciated. But I insisted and he let me go grumbling unhappily.
Despite the late hour, I did not stay at his flat, but rushed out

Nika R.   view profile 

It was silly how I lost my virginity. There was a period in my life when I began to acutely realize myself as a women. A desire to grow up right there and then, heated up by far-fetched images of what I should be, peer pressure, the need to be no worse then anyone else made me do silly things.

I pierced my ears and belly button then, even tried pills and marijuana... In general, I did things, as I understand it now, I could have easily done without. The above pertains to my virginity as well. Virginity was a drawback, which I had to get rid of. Although I did not have a boyfriend yet.
My complaints about the matter were heard by one of my friends and she suggested to help me out. She knew a guy whose services had been claimed by a few of her friends, including herself as well. I was given the best of recommendations - 'painless, neat, hygienic and free of consequences'. Everything used to be simple at that age. A few phone calls exchanged, appointments set, up and out. The whole 'deal' cost me a bottle of exotic Martini (which we finished off together 'for anesthesia').

The guy turned out to be ok, he was fun, definitely 'one of us', I even liked him. We came together with my girlfriend and started with Martini, as I said. The atmosphere was relaxed and easy, we joked a lot, chaffed at each other about the 'forthcoming event'. Our attitude was as that to a simple everyday occurrence, like another ear piercing. When 'anesthetics' came into effect, we went with the guy first to the bathroom then to the room. My girlfriend waited in the kitchen.
Everything was plain and ordinary. The guy stretched a towel under me, not to stain the bed sheets, settled himself on top of me, and was down to business. There was no foreplay whatsoever - who needed it, why should two strangers be caressing each other? But he must have been experienced enough indeed, and seemed to be using some kind of a lotion, because the process of my defloration and 'entering the body' went impeccably.

Of course I could not have missed the chance of seeing my own defloration with my own eyes, so I did not play a proper bride and, having risen myself on my elbows, fixed my eyes on the junction spot between my legs and watched the show. There was no pleasant feeling, and I did not expect any, because I heard that nothing good happens first time.
But, what surprised me pleasantly, the guy turned out to be an exceptional gentleman. He just 'broke' me and almost immediately withdrew, having made sure everything was done the way it should. He did not torture me with his frictions either physically or morally.
Only thing - he went to the bathroom to wash the blood off and asked me and my friend to help him come. My friend was a well known master of blowjob, I helped her with my hands and think that the guy was really pleased - we did our best. They congratulated me mockingly, the guy said we two were 'milk sisters' now. We liked the joke a lot, and called each other that for a long time after. It all turned out to be fun and cute. Let's say the evening was a success. By the way, I still feel good towards that guy, although he has long since left my 'field of vision'.
I do not know, but I do not feel any remorse about loosing my virginity in such a way. On the contrary. Remembering my first sex with the guy I really loved, I doubt that it could happen at all if I had been a virgin.
By the way, my boyfriend never asked me this question - when and how I lost my virginity. It never interested him.

Sonia R.   view profile 

I heard somebody saying that real sex and dignity are incompatible. I think there is something to it. Usually when you are young, sex is preceded by love, romantic relations, and not too many girls are able to allow themselves to relax and let go. They think of how to look better, behave proper, etc.

I lost virginity when I was 18 and a half years old with a man who was over 40. I will tell you everything in detail, because I think that details are all that matter, they allow analyzing one's behavior and sensations during sex.
It happened in summer (long live summer!). I had a boyfriend and we 'dated' - kissed and I allowed him to take my breast in his hand, no more. Not because I was so prudish, but because I was a virgin, and was embarrassed to tell him that. I was hoping that I would be able to last until the end of summer somehow, we would part and everything would be ok, I would loose my virginity somehow, survive the embarrassment in the form of blood on the sheets and would be able to demonstrate what I had learned a year after. But everything happened differently.
Once I walked with my camera far from the village I was staying at, almost as far as the next train station, and met a family couple that lived in the area. They were both about 40, very nice people. I will skip the details of our acquaintance - this is not important. They invited me in, showed their garden, and saw me back to the station after, asked me to come see them any time, only I should not walk, but take a train. I visited them a few times after, they invited me to stay overnight sometime.
So, once I told my grandmother that I was going to visit my friend in Moscow and stay overnight at her place, but went to see Lena and her husband Zhenia instead. And naturally, just like in a porn movie without a plot, that very day Lena's holiday was over and she left for Moscow, I did not even see her. I swear I am telling the truth!

So we set with Zhenia a little bit, his neighbor dropped by, they talked about apples and something else, we had a little home-made black ashberry wine, and I began getting ready for the train back. Since it was already dark, Zhenia said he would see me off to the station, so the neighbor left quickly. But as soon as he left, Zhenia changed his plans, said that I was not going home, and should stay overnight, since that had been the original intention.
It was about midnight already, everybody went to bed in the village, it was getting cool - middle of August, we set on the porch and talked of nothing in particular. He said that a girl like me should be having a lot of admirers and a good lover. I was embarrassed, even scared a bit, and answered abruptly that I did not have any lovers.
He moved closer to me, gave me a hug and asked to take no offence. He was embracing my shoulders with one hand, while his other hand crept under my sweater and stopped at my breast. I shrugged and tried to break free, but he would not let me. Said he was not touching the breast, was he? I said no, but his hand was exactly holding my breast.

Zhenia turned me slowly to face him and started to kiss. I was so nervous, that my body grew as soft as cotton wool. I felt blood pulsating in my heart and between my legs. I realized that it was going to happen that day and made no more attempts to break free. He touched me, kissed and asked if I was a virgin. I said yes. He put my hand on his lap, so I felt his hard cock. Then he pulled his pants and underpants down to his knees and set on the bench with his bare ass. He made me take his cock in my hand and said: 'With this cock I am going to break you tonight. Do you agree?' I said I did.
We got back to the house from the porch carefully, so that the neighbor would not hear. Inside the house without turning the lights on he started undressing me, I struggled a bit. Finally naked, I headed upstairs covering myself with my clothes. There he turned on the lights and undressed himself. We lay down on the bed and he started talking to me about sex, he asked me to calm down and relax all the time.

Then he told me how he had deflowered his wife Lena, and how she loved sex, started telling me everything in detail, so I finally began to relax and started to feel desire gradually. He asked me if I played with myself, I said no. He said I was lying and asked me to show how I did it. I began to masturbate, got very horny, but he stopped me, made me go down on all fours and started licking me from behind.
I began to moan already, then he made me lie on my back, spread my legs, began kissing me and asked if I was ready. I said I was. Then he entered me. His cock seemed so thick to me, he held me tight, as if having nailed to the bed. Zhenia started moving inside me, I was very aroused, but was a bit embarrassed to moan. Then I thought that I would never see him again, so there was nothing to be embarrassed of.
It hurt a little bit, but the pain only added to my excitement. He went on with his frictions for a long time, then he understood I was not going to have an orgasm, and told me to help myself. I told him I could not, but he said he wanted to see my orgasm. I started picking at my nipples, rubbing my clit, and moaned loudly when he entered me deeper. Then he started circular movements with his pelvis, and I nearly lost my mind. I felt orgasm approaching.

When I masturbate at home, sometimes I start whispering to myself involuntary; 'Now, now'. And then I started saying it too. He encouraged me: 'Yes, yes my girl, come, come good now?' Then I had orgasm and moaned: 'Yes, yes, this is it!' - he also came with me and moaned in a high voice.
Next morning he saw me off to the station through the back and beyond and said he would be upset if I did not come to see him again. I asked him not to tell his wife anything. He said he was not suicidal. I came to his dacha 3 more times after that and we also met in Moscow a few times.
I felt good with him, because I could allow myself everything with him. He did not have my address, so we could stop our relations at any time and I was not afraid that he would tell anybody about them.

Tanya I.   view profile 

I could not look at guys of my age after what had happened. They all seemed to me a bunch of freaks, creeps and mongrels. Did not feel like talking to them at all. The jokes I had found funny before now all seemed wretched and flat, their conversations - dull, their physiognomies - loathsome. It became much easier and simpler for me to deal with mature men - calm, intelligent and wise. I could relax with older men and allow myself not to be constantly on guard for some kind of imbecilic joke, repulsive trick, or a freaky escapade.

Younger guys just made me feel uneasy and in jeopardy, while older men - safe and confident.
And first and best of all men that I knew was my father. Even in childhood I felt a certain sexual attraction to him at times (especially after that event in the city bath house). Honestly speaking I did not think that after that incident with boys I would be able to ever feel sexual desire. But time went by and the nature demanded its own...
I rarely went out at that time or and spend time with friends. Most of the time I spent at home getting ready for my college entrance exams. Father was very good in mathematics and helped me with my studies a lot. He worked from home as a free lance programmer for some bank. He was making a pretty decent living (at that time a good programmer, especially with own computer was paid very well), and were able to move to a new bigger apartment with all modern conveniences. Mother worked, so all day long we were alone - just me and my father.
That summer was an unusually hot one and I grew a habit of going to the shower all the time to refresh myself. I would get back to the desk then, father by my side, and we would look into the sums. Because of the hit I walked round the apartment in just my panties and a t-shirt. When father was sitting close, quite often the feeling of my own half-nudity got me excited.
One day, putting my underwear on after the shower I discovered, that I got only one pair of clean panties left, the oldest one, with a pretty sizable tear between legs. Having pulled them on, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair stuck out of that hole. A pretty indecent look I had. But suddenly that was what got me exited. Long suppressed memories and unexpected erotic thoughts started emerging in my mind. One of them was: 'What if I walk like that in front of my father?' If he had been watching me then, how would he react to it now? Well... I just cannot explain it...
Thoughts or no thoughts, but it really was not a deliberate calculation on my side. Apparently, suppressed sexuality started forcing its way out denying the logical taboos of common sense. Any person I felt trust to or who I could feel myself at ease with, could have become an object of the assault. The closes object that met the conditions just happened to be my father.
And I walked out of the bathroom... When I already walked across the room to the desk, I felt an upsurge of excitement, that grew with each step of mine (although nobody was watching me yet). Having sat, first thing I squinted my eyes downwards. Although my legs were pressed together tight, at the top of the triangle there still was a gap the size of a coin. I could not concentrate on any sums, I was waiting for one thing only: 'Now he will enter the room... What will happen then?'

Then he came by, moved his chair closer, took a sit by my side. In a trembling voice I started rendering the task. He was very close, I felt the warmth of his body, his smell. I was afraid of looking at him, but I was dying to find out what he was looking at.
I was trying to determine that with my lateral vision, but could not. I set awfully tense and all tuned to any possible sign that could prompt me on that. All of a sudden I felt the smell of his body became much stronger, and he moved nervously on his chair. I pulled my courage together and threw an instantaneous glance to the right, at him, he was looking!!! I was on the point of swooning... Ceased to perceive the reality at all.
Having noticed that, father suggested we had a break and had some dinner. His voice was not firm as he was saying that either. We went. On the way to the kitchen, at dinner and after I was not trying to conceal my tear anymore. A few times I caught him squinting his eyes at it. But he said nothing! It was practically impossible to study that day, could not hold anything in my head (I could actually, but those were different things).
The rest of the day and the next three days passed in a kind of strange ambiguous games. I did not change my panties and T-shirt. I loitered aimlessly about the flat, flashing my pussy in the tear of my panties, hanging around my father, trying to make sure he saw me, that I was standing or sitting the way that he saw. He did not say a word to me about it, did not suggest I got changed, even did not insist that I sat down to study, but most important - he did not turn away!
On the surface we both behaved like nothing special was happening. There was a kind of a unspoken agreement between us. Very usual everyday words were being said, usual everyday things done. We did not look each other in the eyes almost.
But I could stand up in front of him, put a foot on a chair, and he would stare straight at me, eyes screwed up. And we would discuss some extraneous issues, like a book I'd read long ago. After such a day I would fully exhaust myself masturbating at night. But that was not enough for me already. My body needed more.
Everything happened on day three. We were in the kitchen. Father smoked sitting on a chair. I had already shown myself to him that day, we were both aroused to the limit. Horny as I were, I went beyond my usual cheek and sat in his lap, my legs hanging on sides. Everything was open in front of him. His for the taking.

And he gave up. He held a cigarette in his left hand, his right hand reached out for me. First touch... It was like an electric shock to my body. Then the confident and fast movements of his fingers... Nobody had caressed me there before, but myself. The feeling was stronger and more acute that time.
I arched my back and clutched at his shoulders with my fingers, closed my eyes. The cigarette had long since been put off, his hands were softly sliding all over my body, caressing my breasts then coming down again... There was no embarrassment or shame whatsoever, just rapture and maddening desire. Then a sensual explosion tore by body into pieces - I experienced my first orgasm even before I became a woman. I was in no more than 5 minutes away from becoming a woman then. Strong hands lay down on my thighs and started pulling me closer and closer...
I did not see and cannot describe in detail how all that happened, I was hanging on his neck like a rag doll, not able to comprehend reality after the first orgasm I just experienced. All I remember is being lifted by my thighs and 'put on' on a rod. There was no pain, no bad feelings, everything happened with lightning speed. It could not possibly had happened any other way - I was so 'ready'. There were no strong sensations that first time either - for a little while I was just rocked slightly on that rod and that was it. Compared to the preceding orgasm, all that was nothing more than just some pale and dim recollections.
Everything came later... Although I am not going to tell what happened later. Even as much as I have already told will be perceived by many as a breach of commonly accepted moral norms. Is there anyone who scrupulously observed all common norms and regulations? Show me a person who has never crossed a road outside pedestrian crossing - let him point a finger at me. Let's just say I crossed the road where I was not supposed to, but there normally are no traffic cops in places like that...
I am not just sure, but absolutely positive that different forms of this sort of relationships are practiced in many families. Only the secrets are well kept. Truth never comes out, even if serious conflicts took place inside families. It is all a hush-hush matter. I have no doubts - you will hear other stories similar to mine for sure...